NYC sign with a message I try to remember
by Wendy
I love that movie What About Bob with the great Bill Murray. His neurotic character won’t stop pestering his psychiatrist (Richard Dreyfuss) – even during summer holidays. So the doctor prescribes the advice “take a vacation from your problems” in an attempt to get Bob to put the worries and anxiety on hold until summer is over. While Bob had trouble following this advice, I’ve found it can truly work wonders.
When I had abnormal test results that eventually led to one outpatient and one overnight surgery, travel really helped pause the worry that I felt almost constantly and focus on something else. Even weekend or day trips made a big impact. Time feels different when you’re facing time in a hospital, or unpleasant doctor appointments. I felt so grateful for the “breaks” between what felt like relentless medical appointments. My husband Jack and I would drive out to a small town for the day, and I’d walk around looking at the new scenery and feeling more relaxed that I didn’t have to deal with doctor appointments until the following week. The future was always on my mind, but I’d think how nice a day we were having right then, and how nice it would be to revisit this place after the surgery was over.
Spending a week with my family at the beach was therapy as well as vacation. A whole week without doctor visits or calls was a blessing, and I had time to talk the upcoming surgery over with family. Jack was with me every step of the way and I would have been a disaster without his courage, humor, reassurance and endless support – even when I overloaded him with every fear or concern. Talking with my parents, April and Sunny, and my brother-in-law also helped comfort me and hopefully eased the burden on my husband a little. Between swimming in the pool with my awesome niece and nephew, eating delicious seafood and having drinks on the beach house decks, my family made me feel like I was in a bubble of protection.
Jack’s brother and his family also traveled to visit from the West coast around this time, and playing hostess and tour guide was the perfect distraction. We had a blast showing my other awesome niece and nephew some of the sites during their first trip to DC. One of our best friends drove down from Boston to join the party. It was wonderful having a house full of guests. One memorable night the adults binged-watched the Ricky Gervais/Stephen Merchant TV series Extras with several bottles of cava. Even if laughter is not the best medicine, it is a great destroyer of stress.
Other things helped me deal with everything going on: a really great, compassionate doctor. Surfing the internet for hours looking for stories about women who recovered quickly from similar surgeries. Reading about Angelina Jolie’s tough decisions to protect her health – all while looking gorgeous. Visits to Drybar to get blowouts – it may be superficial, but I feel less stressed when my hair looks pretty! Praying, reading Thomas Merton – though some of his brilliant, beautiful writing can break your heart. And of course, the idea of future trips was a huge motivator for me.
When I decided to have the surgery in the summer, one of the first questions I asked my brilliant doctor was if I could go to Spain a couple of months after. She was encouraging of this. It reassured me to no end to have something exciting and fun to look forward to – something that would make me feel like I was past the medical problems and had my “normal” life back. I was determined to recover quickly and make this trip happen. I remember researching itineraries the day before my surgery, as well as during the recovery period. I dutifully went to my checkups and as time progressed, Jack and I made weekend trips to see family. And about eight weeks after, we headed to Spain – very relieved and elated. For info about our trip, see the blog post Spain in One Week: Itinerary 3!
Has travel ever helped you through a tough time? Have you ever noticed how restorative a change of scenery can be? I wish you all good health and vacations from your problems!