by Sunny

follow me on Twitter @sunnylooksleaps

I’ve always been a huge fan of shopping.  Malls, Marshalls, Target, online, I love to browse even if I don’t actually purchase.  I guess this is not surprising considering my mother and grandmother’s love of shopping.  I was always happy to tag along with them on their outings and owe everything I know about finding a bargain to them.

When MJ was born, the shopping frenzy took full force. Everyone loves to shop for a little girl! During her first year,  I remember her having more pink frilly sleepers, dresses, and rompers then she had time to wear.  At a year old, she would open her closet, look at all of her clothes, and say, ‘WOW.”  She loved to dress up, loved to wear costumes, and still loves to put together her own outfits.  She has a one-of-a-kind style that only she knows the rules to.  Her outfits are loud, often mis-matched, and only sometimes seasonally appropriate.  While I have always made rather sensible and safe fashion choices, MJ wears what she wants without a thought as to what other people may think.  And while I love this about her, shopping trips and picking out an outfit can be a challenge.

The shirt says it all.

Shopping with MJ is fun because she is always ready to go.  However, once we get to the store, things can get frustrating.  Rarely does she like what is readily available on the mannequin or in the window display.  Nope, she’s a digger.  Meaning she like to hunt and dig through everything the store has to offer in order to find what it is she is looking for (which is usually a mystery to me).  Right now she has an aversion to ruffles and an obsession with purple. Ruffles are apparently the hottest trend in kid’s swimwear because finding a swimsuit without ruffles that also had purple was tricky.  I have found asking, “What about this?  I think it’s cute,” pretty much dooms any outfit.  And honestly, I don’ t think it’s because she doesn’t like it, but because she didn’t find it herself.  She wants to be in charge of her own style, an area in which she very much values her independence.

So I try to give her independence when it comes to choosing her outfits, stepping in only when I need to.  For example, “No, a leotard is not appropriate for a wedding,” or “I love those shorts, but it’s snowing outside.”  Luckily, she wears a uniform to school, which helps.  But for day to day errands and activities, I take Elsa’s advice and “Let It Go.”  I can buy her matching PJs, but she’ll still wear her tank top and sweatpants.  I can buy bows and headbands for her hair, but she’ll ask for a plain ponytail, please.  I can buy her a shirt with her favorite characters on it, but she will probably say, “It’s not really my style, Mom.”  Regardless of what outfit she decides on, when I finish pulling back her hair into that beloved ponytail, I always tell her she looks beautiful.

My grandmother, MJ’s great-grandmother, has the most luck with buying her clothes that she will actually wear.  So GGM (as she is lovingly referred to) buys MJ clothes for every birthday and Christmas.   Everyone else plays it safe and gives her toys.  A wise move.

Before we went to Disney this year, MJ announced, “I don’t think I want to be a princess this year. I want to wear Disney clothes, but not costumes.” It did make me a little sad, but I can’t say she didn’t wear those princess dresses out – and not just when we were in Disney World!  She wore them everyday and everywhere, and even wore her Queen Elsa gown to Easter dinner at my Aunt and Uncle’s Country Club one year.  It used to be she wore dresses for every occasion as long as it passed the “twirl test.”  If the dress didn’t flair out when she spun around, it just wouldn’t do.  I loved this phase because it was so much easier.  A twirly dress on a little girl involves very little compromise.  A dress basically goes with any kind of shoe and is good for playtime (with shorts underneath) or church. She will still wear dresses, but her criteria for whether it fits her style is different.  There are definitely more compromises now that she is into mix and matching skirts, shorts, legging, and shirts.  Her style is evolving and those easy princess dress days are over for the most part.

And that’s ok.  Because ultimately, I want MJ to grow up feeling confident, beautiful, and independent.  And if letting her wear gold sparkly leggings, and purple cat print knee socks, with her grey Star Wars sweatshirt and hiking boots does that, then so be it.