by Wendy
Even though Paris is one of the most popular destinations on the planet, some travelers worry they will encounter icy or disdainful attitudes from the French. But we know better, don’t we! We know one of the rewarding things about travel is dispelling stereotypes and kicking unfair generalizations to the curb. We protest the descriptions of rude French and ugly Americans. We realize people can be annoying in every locale, but they barely register as a blip compared to all the nice people we know.

For anyone still feeling skeptical, here are a few tips on getting to know France a little better. Quit being the kid in school who teases France because you secretly have a crush. Find your courage and invite France to prom already. Use these suggestions at your own risk. I’m not liable if you start watching Amelie every weekend and reserving your entire travel budget for trips to Paris.

Learn a few phrases – Relax, you probably already know a few. When you enter a place of business, it’s customary to greet employees. Just be aware as you walk in a store or cafe, and when an employee catches your eye, you can nod and say “Bonjour” (Good day) or “Bonsoir” (Good evening). “S’il vous plait” is please, and “Merci” is thank you, and “Je suis désolé, je ne parle pas francais” is I’m sorry, I do not speak French. If you have time before your trip, there are many resources and apps online that can help you learn more.

I know the language barrier can be daunting. I took French in school, and was still sheepish about my accent. If only I could go back and tell high school Wendy: as silly as you think you sound in class, this is the time to practice! So youngsters, take note. For everyone else, it’s not too late for us to keep trying.

In my experience, the effort is what’s important. English is widely spoken in France and many times, those you meet will take pity on your attempts to communicate in French and quickly switch to English. Sometimes, they may correct your French. Be a good sport about it. A little humility is an attractive quality in a traveler. A relationship with France may have a few bumps in the road, but don’t let it stress you out. It will make you all the more endearing.

Bring your A game – In addition to anxiety about language, many people worry about what to wear. Look, you really can wear the same clothes you wear at home. And if you insist on wearing sweats, short shorts and flip flops, go for it – but you will stand out and may attract some stares. Actually you may attract stares regardless, as it always seemed to me that many French are OK with a little blatant staring.

But back to the topic – if you’re really looking to cozy up to France, dress up a little. We’re not talking about anything crazy here. Nice jeans, blouses, oxfords, polo shirts. Something you’d wear on a casual dinner date. Nothing that can also be worn for your workout or the beach. If it’s not too hot, the French love a sharp jacket. All of these things can still be comfortable. You can even still wear sneakers – just try and stick to retro Converse or Vans. My husband Jack still claims we got into a low-key club one evening because the doorman liked his orange and khaki Pumas.

Even the guy on this French warning sign is wearing a stylish outfit

Flattery gets you everywhere – This one’s easy. Be a delightful traveler. Appreciate the experience. I’ve seen travelers embarrassingly close to meltdown stage because there was no ketchup in a French snack bar. Yes, things are different from home but that’s part of the reason you go abroad! Take a deep breath and go with it. Be generous and sincere with compliments when you interact with locals, whether it’s your tour guide, hotel staff, shopkeepers or wait staff. We’ve had dinners start with a curt (but always efficient!) waiter, but end with him grinning and winking because we expressed how much we liked the food and wine.

Share a joke and a drink – Again, relax. Don’t jam pack your itinerary so much that you get bent out of shape if the waiter is slow or the shop isn’t open. Plan time for wandering around. Especially in Paris – there is nothing like wandering around in Paris! Stopping in cafes, peering inside old churches, walking all around for the best view of The Eiffel Tower, looking at the art inside the museums, looking at the art outside the museums, strolling through gardens. Jack and I love stopping in a random bar, having a drink and striking up a conversation. Sometimes we go back the next night.

Once Jack and I were having dinner and drinks in Montparnasse, and when I got up to use the bathroom Jack ordered another round. For some reason, the older French gentlemen at the table nearby thought this was so funny – like Jack was sneaking more beer while the wife wasn’t looking? We exchanged a few pleasantries with them and who I assumed were their wives or girlfriends. They bid us farewell – but not 5 minutes later just the men came back to the same table, ready to order more drinks, laughing and encouraging us to take part in a joke I’m still not sure I understood! It felt like we were part of a typical Saturday night in the neighborhood.

Get inspired – The French have style – and whether you visit Paris or another city, you will likely be intrigued and enchanted. Jennifer L. Scott wrote about this in her book, Lessons from Madame Chic: 20 Stylish Lessons I Learned While Living in Paris. I read this a couple of years ago and enjoyed her story of living with a French family and being influenced by their artistic and refined approach to daily habits.

The book brought back memories of the summer I tagged along with my brilliant sister April, who had a work study in Montpellier, France. While the students lived in dorms, the program also assigned students to a local family – and April’s were very kind and generous people. Their invitations to April for family meals and day trips were extended to me as well, and we are still grateful for their hospitality. We were welcomed into their home for beautifully prepared multi-course lunches and driven around the vicinity for sight-seeing. Lunches started with an aperitif and included wine. Mr. and Mrs. B- and their teenage daughter spoke French very slowly for our benefit. Once we went to the modest but beautiful apartment of Mrs. B’s mother and father to have lunch with them. I still remember the warm greeting of her elderly father whose dapper outfit for Sunday afternoon included a Looney Tunes necktie. For our part, April and I strived to be gracious guests. We wore dresses, brought a gift – bourbon from home or a bouquet of flowers – tried all of the unfamiliar foods, tried to keep up with the conversation and always expressed our thanks.

Paris statue of George Washington

Don’t be put off by rumors. No reason that someone as charming as you and as charming as France cannot hit it off together and become fond friends. Bon voyage!